he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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