those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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