i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
