I'm lost and stupid without you.
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
