hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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