I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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