I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
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