Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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