I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
27 Times The Kardashian-Jenner Clan Absolutely Slayed at NYFW
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
19 Doctors Confess The Most Difficult Situation They’ve Ever Had To Face
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I would fuck him just for his dog