dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.