she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Randomize
