Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!