Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(302): View more from Delaware

is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?

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(518): View more from New York

how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago

(404): View more from Georgia

so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?

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(330): View more from Ohio

if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.

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(561): View more from Florida

you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(920): View more from Wisconsin

i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you

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(585): View more from New York

Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.

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(720): View more from Colorado

I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.

(303): View more from Colorado

Flo's in town, ain't she.

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