So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
zippers are such a cool invention
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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