you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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