do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
