I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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