Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
