this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
