Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
from now on my penis is your penis
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
