He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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