i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I AM VODKA MAN
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize