i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
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