so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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