I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
This is classic penis vs brain.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
