So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
