I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
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And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
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I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
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