I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
