FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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