He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
He shit in the fireplace
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
