I will die if light touches me.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
