Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
