Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
