Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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