I have demons in me.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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