He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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