And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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