I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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