it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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