How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
