I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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