I want you more than these girls want KFC
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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