also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Randomize
