Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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