k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
