The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize