I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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