Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
