P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Randomize
