apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
