Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
