This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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