Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I just want nice things and good sex
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
