He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
