i just wanna soil my oats bro
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
