oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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