i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
