You really coming over, don't trick.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
