For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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