I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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