My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
