Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
