i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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