I wish I could teleport
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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